What You Need
by Krys33
Summary: 4:11, In The Clamor And The Clangor. What if they hadn't been inturrupted? Luke and Lorelai one shot, angst.


A/N: Pre-Premiere jolt of inspiration!

Disclaimer: They're not mine.

This starts off in the church in 4:11, In the Clamor and the Clangor.

_Italics from actual episode.

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Cassie James: You never know what you need until you find it.

Gil Grissom: Or until you lose it.

CSI, 2:23 The Hunger Artist

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"_I could move in with you guys. You wouldn't know." _

"_You know, none of this is any of your business."_

"_It's absolutely my business."_

"_How?" _

"_Because! I wasted a week of my life adjusting to the fact that you moved only to find out that you haven't moved." She told him truthfully._

"_How much adjusting did you have to do? Nothing's changed! I still see you every day, I still cook your food, I still serve your coffee. What do you care?"_

"_I care."_

"_Why?"_

"_Because I don't want you to move."_

"_Why? Why don't you want me to move?"_

She paused, not wanting to admit anything. Actually, she had been slightly disappointed that he thought that all there was between them was just the coffee and the food.

Lorelai took a deep breath. "Because I need you. Here." She added.

"What… what do you mean?" Luke asked, caught off guard by her statement.

Lorelai sat in the front pew and rested her head in her hands, trying to find the words that would best convey the oh-so-complicated feelings that were rolling around in her mind. She raised her head and asked him, slowly, "When you were a kid, didn't you have a best friend that moved away?"

He thought back to his childhood before shaking his head. "No."

She sighed, trying to come up with a better example of how she was feeling at the moment. "Well, then, when Rachel left. Do you remember that?"

Luke remembered that. He remembered it quite well, actually. Almost word for word. He nodded. "Yeah."

Lorelai stood from her spot on the bench. "Remember how you felt?" She didn't wait for an answer this time. "That's how I felt when you told me you moved, Luke." She took a step towards him. "You're one of my best friends. I just… don't want you to leave."

He was still caught up in her mention of Rachel. Luke knew he'd felt the way he had when she left because he'd lov… well, cared about her. A lot. Was she implying…? Did she mean…?

Luke didn't realize that as he'd been pondering the meaning of Lorelai's words, she'd been slowly and steadily moving closer. Before he could comprehend what was happening, her arms were around his neck and her lips were on his and she was kissing him and he was kissing her back and the only clear thought in his head was that this was so much better than he'd ever imagined.

They parted for a second to breathe. And in that short moment, the oxygen reached his brain and all the unreadable thoughts became clear and suddenly he was pulling away.

Now it was his turn to sit and hold his head in his hands as he thought. He'd waited years for this moment. Seven years, to be exact. Seven extremely long years. And when it finally did happen all he could feel was guilt.

He was married. Sure, he knew that he didn't love Nicole and that she wasn't _the one_, as Lorelai would put it. But that didn't matter. He was her husband and he couldn't cheat on her, no matter how horrible their relationship was.

Lorelai joined him on the pew. "Whatcha thinking about?" she asked quietly, knowing that it couldn't be good.

Luke sighed. "Nicole."

She nodded. That's what she'd figured. He was married. And no way did she want to be the 'other woman'. No way.

He stood and returned to the task at hand: the bells. Luke was a fixer, after all, and if he couldn't fix the problem between him and Lorelai, he had to work on something else. That something happened to be the bells.

Lorelai knew this. She watched quietly as he expertly silenced the bells and packed up Bert.

They silently left the church side-by-side and then went their separate ways.

Lorelai had been looking all her life for love, for 'the one'. She'd sifted through so many candidates, so many possibilities, that the one she'd been looking for all along had slipped right through her fingers.

And she went home with the firm belief that you never knew exactly what you were looking for, what you needed, 'til you found it.

Or until you lost it.

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The End 


End file.
